I need a piece of sky with a smidge of smoke
and a slightly bulbous doohickey.
Here you go.
You know it's funny
but when you live a thousand years,
jigsaw puzzles don't seem like such a waste of time.
Hey I'm home.
Wow, you guys haven't moved since I left this morning.
Hi Sabrina, how was school?
Great! Libby dropped her tray at lunch for the third day in a row.
I'm getting really good at that.
Yes! Now you can read Hindenberg.
There's nothing in the freezer, we're all out of ice-cream.
Aren't you forgetting something?
I know. I'm not supposed to eat sweets before dinner.
No, we're witches.
Dig in.
Cool! Do you want some?
Of course.
And you shouldn't eat sweets before dinner.
1X03 "The True Adventures Of Rudy Kazootie" 10/11/1996
Rollerblades.
Why can't I find a spell for Rollerblades?
Salem help me, it's like you don't care.
Oh I care. I care deeply about your...
What was it?
Rollerblades.
Did you check under sporting goods?
Oh. 'Sporting events, to win, lose or tie' Huh!
that's all you have to do to influence the game?
Easy.
Hey, don't mess around with that
unless you give me time to call my bookie.
Here we go. 'Sporting goods'
they have inline skates. Okay, I need an old shoe box.
'A gift from a quick footed animal.'
Aw! That wasn't a gift.
Okay, here goes. Come on Rolleblades.
Yes! It worked. I made... Rollerblaws?
Sabrina, d'ya want some breakfast?
No thanks, I'll be out Rollerblawing.
What's wrong?
She wanted inline skates
but she wanted a brand name.
Oh you can't do that.
We have strict copyright laws
ever since the seventies when witches way over did the Gucci.
You can still get decent knock off's from the Hong Kong witches.
Look, I don't care about labels.
It's just Rollerblaws aren't the same,
I mean even the kid on the box isn't having any fun.
Well then there's only one thing to do.
You'll buy me Rollerblades?
No, you'll get a job like the rest of us.
Baby-sitter needed, triplets.
It's been up there for years.
Oh here's one, earn money watching TV.
Hey, that was mine!
You've got to be more aggressive in this job market.
Oh here's another baby-sitting job and just one kid.
I'm very responsible and I love children,
I even was one.
Tonight? Can you start tonight?
Tonight? Ah I guess I could.
Not so fast now, you're gonna fall down honey.
No this is really great, I really appreciate this.
My husband and I never get out.
Oh, I really should get to class.
Wait! Don't go please, I need adult conversation!
What's happening in the world?
Well look, I'll see you tonight
and in the mean time you can watch MTV news.
Now cells reproduce by mitosis.
Thank you for joining us Miss Spellman.
I was just about to tell the class what mitosis is,
do you know?
It's a... science thing?
Listen closely, you just might learn something.
Mitosis is a process in which...
...And there you have it in a zygote.
All right, er since we've covered so much material
today I'm going to move the test up to tomorrow. Have fun studying.
But Mr. Pool, tonight's game four of the world series!
No, really?
Well since I'll be stuck here hosting parents' night
I guess we'll all be missing the series together.
Vindictive? Perhaps but it's what gets me through the day.
Hey Sabrina.
My hand kind of cramped up after 'Mitosis is', so
I was wondering if maybe we could get together and study tonight?
You and me?
That's what 'we' means.
Yeah sure.
Oh wait I can't, I'm baby-sitting tonight
but I bet you could come over. They're desperate.
So, cool?
Yeah cool!
Cool!
Hilda hurry up, we've got to go.
I still don't understand why I can't go to parents' night with you.
Because Salem, it's weird enough that we're two sisters who
live together in an old Victorian house.
If we show up with a cat we cross the line into Loonyville.
Zelda feel my head, I think I have a fever.
I can't go to school.
It's just parents' night.
But I hate school. Oh my stomach hurts.
Oh grow up, and don't try making it snow.
Hey it's just started snowing and it's really coming down.
Hilda!
Okay! Okay!
It's stopped, there. No one was hurt.
Well I'm off to my job.
You're all dressed up.
Yeah well, I want to make a good impression on the baby...
and Harvey's gonna be there.
Oh!
Don't? Oh!' We have a study date.
Don't ?Hu-hu!' We have a test.
Don't you start!
Look it's no big deal, I mean
Harvey could have asked anyone to study with him.
Of course he did ask me. Gotta go!
His baba's are in the fridge.
Fridge; baba. Got it.
And I'm so sorry there's not much food for you and your friend Harvey to snack on.
Oh I'm sure I'll be able to whip something up.
Let's go.
Um yeah,
If he gets fussy or anything, just try reading him ?Goodnight Moon'
and also you'll always get a big smile out of him if you call him Rudy Kazootie
or more formally, Mr. Kazootie.
Okay, there's his baby monitor and here are his Tookies.
See why we have to get out?
Now we won't be late and you call if you need anything.
Right.
I guess you'll need this.
So Mr. Kazootie, what should we play first huh?
Crazy eggs?
- Hi, you found it. - Yeah.
you should have just said it's the house with the flying duck on the mailbox.
- You really notice mailboxes don't you? - Yeah.
- So how's the baby-sitting? - Excellent.
The baby's asleep, so it's just the two of us.
Not that I planned it that way it's just, y'know the baby was really tired so.
- Hey look, they've got a TV. - Yeah
I bet the world series would look great on that
but I came here to study.
Right. So er, let's study.
Except my notes aren't very good.
Oh, we can work off my notes.
Okay.
Mitosis is...? Mitosis is...?
- You know studying makes me hungry. - Yeah me too.
I'll go see what I can dig up.
I've found all kinds of great stuff.
It's er, not brand name but I'm sure it tastes fine.
"Schnickers"?
"N and N’s"?
"Butterthumb"? Where do these people shop?
I don't know but if you're thirsty there's ?Popsi'
- Do they have ?You-hoo'? - No, but they have ?Hey, over here'
I think I'll just have a diet Popsi.
- So should we get back to studying? - Yeah.
Mitosis is...?
Baby needs me, be right back.
Rudy, it's okay.
Look your favourite book, 'Goodnight Moon'
'Hello moon'
'Goodnight moon' That was a good book huh?
Come on Rudy, be a pal. Harvey and I have a study date
and don't 'Oh!' or 'Hu-hu!' although I do sorta think he's cute and...
I don't know why I'm telling you but enjoy your book.
And another quiet innings comes to an end.
The babys' fine.
- I was just checking the score. - You're really into baseball huh?
Yeah but sports aren't my only interest.
I don't tell a lot of people this but someday I want to be a dentist.
A dentist, that's great. Who doesn't love the dentist?
And I've noticed that you have really good teeth.
I do?
Yeah, but that's not a professional opinion; that's just me.
Oh, excuse me. Gotta go to work.
And welcome back to the world series
Oh it's okay Mr. Kazootie.
Come here, don't be sad.
Come here, big boys don't cry.
Come on, be a big boy, be a big boy, be a big boy.
That's better.
We go to the bottom of the ninth in a yawner. Somebody do something.
Well the babys' got his bottle now.
Should we get back to mitosis is?
Yeah, right. I mean the test is tomorrow, I really gotta focus.
Mitosis is...?
- What was that? - Better go check the baby.
I'm coming Rudy.
What happened?
Oh my god Rudy, is that you?
Baba.
Oh Mr. Kazootie!
What have I done? I'm in so much trouble, I broke the baby!
Baba.
We have to undo this. Okay,
presto change-o, go back to normal.
Baba.
Go back to normal!
Baba!
Urr! Not even close.
Here's you baba.
Oh this is so creepy. We've gotta get help.
- Blanky? - No!
You'd better keep your blanky until after we get you dressed.
Hey Sabrina, you need some help?
No, everything's fine.
why don't you watch the game.
It's one strike from the end,
unless this guy knocks one out it's over.
Hey look!
- It's a home run! - Unbelievable!
Folks, we're going into extra innings.
- You could help a little. - Nose.
Aw! That's not helping.
Okay, there.
Now just don't spit up on your dads suit jacket okay, go.
Up. Up.
You've gotta be kidding me.
Gotta get the phone.
- Did she answer yet? - Am I talking?
Oh hi Sabrina. Yeah it's Jerry, Rudy's dad.
- Is he okay? Ask her if he's okay. - I know what to ask.
- Is he okay? - Yeah, Rudy's having a real good time,
he's riding his banana right now. How's your dinner?
Well they were a little late in seeing us.
Really?
But since we got a table they've been rushing the heck out of us.
Oh don't let them. You're there to relax, take all the time you want.
Well that's very sweet of you Sabrina.
Well we were just checking in, so we'll see you soon. Hm?...
Okay not too soon. Right. Bye.
- See, everything's fine. - I'm sorry.
It's just been such a weird day.
I mean you almost went off the road in that freak snow storm
and now I just have the funniest feeling.
Stop with the feelings.
Harvey, I'm er going to walk the baby. You stay here and watch the game okay?
Okay but it's almost over. Only a grand slam would tie it.
He got a hold o' that one, it's up...
...It's hanging there... It could be...
It might be... It's a grand slam!
- Alright! - There's magic in the air.
Welcome parents', I'm Mr. Pool.
You may look at me, a man in his prime,
and wonder why is he teaching high school biology.
Well it's because I believe that science is the foundation
upon which we build our future.
That and I tanked my MCAT's.
- Mr. Pool is cute. - You have got to get out more.
- I wonder if he's single. - Excuse me.
is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?
I need to go to the nurse.
is there a problem... Mrs. Spellman?
- Yes, it's my tummy... - No, she's fine and it's Miss Spellman.
- Who are you? - Oh I'm also Miss Spellman.
We're Sabrina's aunts, Sisters, not-not an alternative couple.
- So you're er single? - Yes, and you?
Extremely.
Now I really am gonna throw up.
Okay just sit there.
Okay, here you can read your book.
Or just chew on it.
- Yes! Yes! - Salem, what are you doing?
nothing.
It looks like you're playing with a ball of yarn.
I have urges, Sabrina.
Look, can we deal with your issues later,
I've got a bigger problem.
My yarn!
Okay, now what do I do about this?
Dear lord! You picked up a guy at the bus station!
No, it's the baby I'm baby-sitting for.
He's fourteen months old, something happened to him.
- Do I smell teen witchery? - Salem you've gotta help me.
We've gotta change him back before his parents come home and prosecute.
What d'you want me to do? I'm a cat, go talk to your aunts.
They're at my school, I can't bring him there.
- Can you watch him? - I suppose.
Thanks, I owe you one.
- Horsey! Ride Horsey! - Get him off me! Get him off of me!
What an amusing Anna and Mary Platt story Mr. Pool.
Really?
I've told it a thousand times, no one's ever gotten it.
Fools.
You know, we should exchange E-mail. What's your address?
me? I'm on quicknet. My er, screen name is Biostud.
You're Biostud? I'm Chem-kitten.
Oh, didn't we meet in a chat room and discuss poly vinyl chlorides?
- Yes, and you are very naughty. - Well ha.
L-O-S-E-R,
Loser!
- Hey Sabrina. - Sabrina!
What are you doing at parents' night?
- Nothing, I just er... - Oh I see you've brought your father.
Moon.
Oh don't play with that... dad.
it's nice to meet you Mr. Spellman.
Mr. Spellman?
Actually y'know, he likes to be called Mr. Kazootie.
Mr. Kazootie?
Yeah, that's our real name. It's Scottish, you can...
I'm Scottish too.
And I know now't of the clan Kazootie, Ah be ye a highlander?
Oh, we're lowlanders.
Is your dad okay Sabrina?
Oh darn, gotta go and work the bake sale.
It's a er prestige thing.
Oh, you do it all don't you?
- Bye bye. - Bye bye.
Ah yes, Bye bye to all of you.
I thought you were supposed to be baby-sitting?
I am, that's him.
That's the little baby?
- Funny clown. - Watch it!
Look I'm desperate, you guys have to help me.
Okay. Rudy's parents are going to be back really soon
and I think they might notice they missed a big moment in their son's life.
Well obviously you've cast some kind of spell,
so all you have to do is reverse it.
Well I didn't mean to cast a spell.
This magic ruins everything,
y'know he's supposed to be in his crib sucking his thumb
and I'm supposed to be studying with Harvey.
- Oh! - Hu-hu!
Stop that, this is serious.
Oh calm down Sabrina, just try to figure out exactly what you did.
I don't know, I don't remember.
Rudy was crying, I picked him up,
I said big boys don't cry and I rubbed his back.
- Did you say anything else? - I don't think so.
Be a big boy.
He's right, I said 'be a big boy'
And I bet you said it three times.
Oh! Mystery solved. You cast a passion spell.
Passion spell, what's that?
If you want something enough and you say it three times it might just happen.
- We like to call it a Travis. - Why?
- Randy Travis Randy Travis. Randy Travis.
I love this spell.
What a-What am I doin' here?
Oh we were just illustrating a point for our niece.
I hope we haven't caught you at a bad time.
No it's fine.
My wife does wonder where I keep popping off to though.
- Will there be anything else? - Maybe later.
If you need me, you'll know where to find me.
You always do.
- Now he is so cute. - I love his new album, oh.
Can we get back to me? What do I do to fix this?
Exactly what you did before,
three times but in reverse.
This is really weird.
Boy big a be. Boy big a be. Boy big a be.
It tickles!
Nothing happened, it didn't work.
It just takes time.
Well his parents are going to be home soon.
You'd better hope they have a sense of humour.
Maybe I can blame it on a radio active spider.
Let's go Rudy.
Rudy! Where's the baby?!
Ah, it's on the house, Mr. Travis.
Well thank you. Does it have nuts?
Yes, but you can pick em out.
Tookies!
- Hey! Hey! You can't do that! - Mine!
Mr. Kazootie!
You can see why I changed my name.
It's the bottom of the fifteenth.
Put an a pot of Java, we could be here all night.
That's what's so great about this ball game.
- Sabrina, is that you? - Yeah.
You are missing a freaky game.
Whoa! It moved like it had a string attached to it.
You've had a big night, now let's go over what I've taught you.
Rudy, how did you get this way?
Good. Okay, now it's sleepy time.
Read me, moon.
I'm too tired, play with your toes.
Night.
I could sure use a Popsi.
- Is the game still on? - Yeah.
Man, it could go on for ever.
And it's an unassisted triple play! It's over!
Wow!
You see that's what's so great about baseball, anything can happen.
Yeah, yeah, you never know.
We really should study now.
Okay, mitosis is...?
You know, can we take a break, I'm wiped.
This baby-sitting is a lot harder than I thought.
Sure. I mean we could just sit here and talk.
- I'd like that. - This is kinda nice.
- So. - So.
We're home.
- Mitosis is...? - I didn't expect you so soon.
We skipped dessert, I missed my baby so much.
How much do we owe you? Four dollars an hour?
actually it's five but four'll be fine.
Jerry, you've gotta come see this.
thanks, gotta go!
Look at our sweet little angel.
They grow so quickly don't they?
Oh yeah. Do you ever think about having another?
No. We should go now.
I'm looking for a slanty green piece with a funny little waddle.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
You know you really have a flair for jigsaw puzzles Randy.
I spend a lot of time on the bus.
This is kind of nice though.
Popcorn, puzzle, lightly falling snow.
Yes it's real nice. Can I go yet?
No.
Okay, I'm looking for a sky blu rhombus with a little puff of clouds.
Oh there it is.
Mitosis is...?
- Salem, I can't concentrate. - D'you wanna play Risk?
I'm sick of Risk.
Hey, I've got a great idea. Salem, I think I hear the can-opener.
Really! Please be tuna! PLEASE be tuna!
Eddie Cibrian. Eddie Cibrian. Eddie Cibrian.
Er what am I doing here?
I was just about to pull Hasselhoff out of a burning Corvette.
Oh well you can do that later.
I was just kinda wondering if you'd turn around for me?
Sure.
Thanks.
- Is that it? - Yeah,
A não ser que queiras montar puzzles.
unless you're into jigsaw puzzles. My aunts are working on one down stairs right now with Randy Travis.
Hm, sounds like fun. I guess Hasselhoff will have to wait.
Wow, this magic thing isn't so bad.
Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt.
You have the test, you may commence failing.
Mitosis is...? Mitosis is...?
- Great game huh Harvey? - Yeah, wasn't it freaky?
Freaky? You want freaky?
Randy Travis came to parents' night.
Have you met Sabrina's father? He's pretty freaky too.
Get back to your test then.
Mitosis is...? Mitosis is...?
** Saboor Mughal **